Sunday, August 25, 2013

Paper Boat

It wasn't the pain. It wasn't the whooshing sound in my head. It wasn't the cool wetness of the towel that was placed on my forehead. No, the first thing that alarmed me was the tone of the various voices that drifted in and out of my hearing. Though my eyes were shut I could feel the concern, even alarm in their eyes, the rigidness of their gestures and the stillness of their fear in the room.
Looking back, even at that moment It didn't occur to me that something was seriously wrong, but that something was not quite right.
In my mind the darkness of the shadows deepened and lengthened. I backed away from them awkwardly and limply, but night accelerated and engulfed me. I found myself floating on this dark strange new sea and tired as I was, I let go...You see, I knew that I had no choice in the matter and having no choice but to surrender is sometimes the scariest thing in the world. I was not me anymore, the determined me, that wouldn't go out without a fight. There was no battleground, no monster that I could attack.

"Is she going to recover?"
"Too soon to say I'm afraid, we still don't know what we are dealing with"
"Don't worry so much, little Lea is a fighter..."

But I wasn't a fighter on that dark sea. I was a paper boat thrown to the mercy of the four winds...